Well, I'd like to begin this post by apologising for my extended absence from the page. I haven't been away, I just forgot about it entirely. Rest assured that your patience shall be rewarded; today I will tackle an issue far more important and immediately threatening to modern society than any other I could possibly deal wth. I am, of course referring to the decreasing crisp to packaging ratio in Walkers crisps.
Yes, it is an issue that has tried my patience for a long time. There was a day long ago when one could open up a bag of Walkers and find just that, a full packet of delicious crisps, however now all that you are met with is a dreadful abyss of cheap packaging, leading to a paltry sum of crushed, tasteless potato at the base of the pit. And to add insult to injury they never change the size of the bag itself, meaning that now it seems ridiculously wasteful and environmentally harmful. In fact, the packaging is so oversized that the contents of two bags can fit in one. True fact...I tested it.
So yeah, on top of all that they haven't changed the prices; meaning that the value of an individual Walkers crisp has somehow massively increased. When will this madness stop? Will the price per crisp continue to increase exponentially until they are worth more pound for pound than beluga caviar dusted with heroin? While I can only wildly speculate I would say that this grim eventuality will become reality within two years. Until then enjoy what few walkers crisps you can get because after that point we'll all have to eat Golden Wonder like a bunch of wankers.
Go ahead Walkers, prove me wrong.